Memories of Ren
by SparklyQuarians
Summary: As Zevran travels, he delves into his memories of Ren, his beloved Warden and the sacrifice she made to kill the Arch Demon. One Shot written for Sanyu DarkStar


_**Authors Notes: One shot written on request from Sanyu DarkStar.**_

* * *

**Memories of Ren**

Zevran ploughed his feet through the snow, sometimes turning back to look at his foot prints. He used to hate the snow, but now he enjoyed the beauty of it, it reminded him a beauty no longer in his sights, _Ren, _she was never far from the front of his mind.

Yes, the snow brought memories of his lost love to life, like her hair, a beautiful shade of shimmering white and in the darkness of the night sky, had a blue hue, it match the delicate beauty of her pale skin, the opalescent beauty of her eyes and the delicate touch of pink to her lips. She was also gifted in snow and lightening spells, she would often catch him out by making it snow on him, then deny she did it, blaming Morrigan, at first Zevran fell for it, then he got wise to her games.

He thought back on the first night he spent with the group, it was when he first learned of Ren's mischievous nature.

_Zevran watched Ren move around the camp, she moved with such grace, like a swan across a lake, her eyes found his watching her, a devilish smile displayed across her delicate pink lips, ah yes, Zevran knew she was a trouble, but trouble of a delightfully delicious nature._

_Ren moved towards him, her bouncing around her as she walked, Zevran wanted to feel it, to see if it was as silky as it looked. Ren sat next to him, nudging him with her elbow, "You still planning to kill me?" She asked with a teasing smile._

"_How could I, Zevran Arainai, deprive the world of such a exquisite beauty, such as yourself?"_

"_Careful now, Flattery from such a handsome man goes a long way with me, don't promise a good time," She said licking her lips._

_Zevran laughed, "If the Lady wants a good time, I would be more than happy to oblige."_

_Ren looked at him through her lashes, eyes growing dark with desire, "Perhaps I will take you up on that, if your man enough," Ren stood up walking away with a smirk on her perfect features. Oh yes, she was most definitely trouble._

Zevran sighed sadly looking up at the stars, his love was among them making the snow fall, it was comfort for him, she was there and she always would be, he knelt down in the snow to write her name, he did that wherever her went, so people knew of Ren and remembered her sacrifice.

* * *

Zevran stopped at an Inn for the night, shelter from the cold, although some things couldnt be fixed with a warm bed and hot food. He pulled off his gloves, the very gloves that Ren had sought out for him, her sign of respect for his Dalish heritage, then he looked down at his boots, the Antivan boots she has given him as a gift, he pulled them off, setting them down next to the bed, slipping under the sheets, he let his mind take him back to the time when her warmth saved his life in the frostback mountains and the first night the spent together.

_Zevran struggled to open his eyes, he felt cold and strangely warm at the same time, movement against him made him open his eyes properly, he eyes adjusted to his surroundings, he looked down to see a half naked, sleeping Ren, pressed against him, she felt so delightfully warm, her scent was heavenly, his traitorous body reacted to her closeness._

_He moved slightly making her wake up, she stretched against him, "You're awake, how are you feeling?"_

"_Better and confused," He replied shifting slightly to hide his arousal._

"_Well see now, I told you to not stay too far ahead, you being all manly and just not listening, you went ahead, there was a cave in, I had to dig you out of snow, now we are stuck in a some dark dead end of a corridor because the rocks came down as I was digging you out."_

"_Oh, well thank you, my beautiful Lady for being my rescuer, it's always a pleasure to wake up to half naked women, although naked is a much better option."_

_Ren smirked before standing up to remove her underclothing, once fully naked, she laid back down, resting against him, "Happy now."_

"_Much, although probably far too much."_

_Ren stroked his defined chest lazily, tugging at the thin hairs, "So about that good time..." She said nonchalantly._

_Zevran chuckled, "Happy to oblige," Zevran moved himself on top of Ren, kissing her gently, "This is a much better way of keeping warm, hmmm?"_

Zevran let his memory slip away, he would never be able to touch her that way again, he kicked the end of the bed in anger, why did she have to leave him, why couldnt she just let Alistair kill the Arch demon, then he would have his beloved, if Alistair did it, she would be laying with him, her head on his chest, her hair soft against his shoulder and arm. He clutched at the necklace that he had given her, he would never find love again, no one could rival his Ren.

* * *

Zevran watched as Lightening bolted across the sky, it was bright and spectacular, Ren has been particularly gifted at lightening spells, she was deadly with them. It had been lightening on the last night he held her alive in his arms, the night they confessed their true feelings to each other, sometimes Zevran worried that he never said it back, he had to remind himself that he did.

_Zevran and Ren laid together in comfortable silence, Zevran stroked her silky hair, breathing in her delicate scent of lavender._

"_Zevran?"_

"_Yes, my lovely."_

_Ren paused briefly, "I love you," She said in barely more than a whisper, the lightening outside making her beauty glow._

_Zevran tighten his hold on her, "I love you, Mi belleza."_

"_What shall we do when all this is over?" She asked as her lips touched his neck._

"_I want to take you to Antiva, show you the sights, deal with the crows, after that, we can do anything."_

"_Maybe we can settle somewhere?" She suggested sleepily._

_Previously, the thought of Zevran settling down would terrify him, but the prospect of spending his life with Ren was appealing and satisfying, "Somewhere we can frolic naked and without a care in the world," He joked._

_Ren laughed against his chest, "That sounds perfect," A flash of light spread out above them, making everything glow, more so Ren's hair._

Zevran watched more bolts of lightening dance across the sky, he would trade everything to have his Ren back, if only for a night.

* * *

Zevran walked up to the shrine dedicated to Ren, Hero of Ferelden, that title meant nothing to Zevran, to him she was Ren, his beautiful fearless Ren. He hated the statue erected in her honour, it was colourless, her eyes soulless, her hair dull, they didnt even get her make up right, no blue and silver eye shadow, he hated it, it wasn't his Ren and it never would be, his Ren was taken.

_Zevran watched in horror as his Ren, struck the killing blow to the Arch demon, he was blinded by a bright light, when he could see again, his eyes found the lifeless body of his beloved, she was gone._

_He knelt down next to her, he closed her eyes and leant down to kiss her forehead. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her down from the tower, he threw Alistair a glare, Zevran needed someone to blame and Alistair was the only one who could have stopped Ren dying by giving himself up, he should have insisted._

_The next day, they held a funeral for Ren, he helped carry her body to the altar, Queen Anora praised her, Zevran didnt want to hear praises, he wanted to hear the voice of his Ren. He looked at her lifeless body on the altar, for the first time, he let himself feel the pain and he cried gently. He left the funeral not long after, he couldnt stand to see his Ren paraded about, he had nothing left in Ferelden, it was time for him to leave._

Zevran walked away from the statue, it was time to face the Crows, it was a death sentence he knew it, but his life was empty without his Ren, he would rather be dead and with her again, rather than alive and empty. He kissed Ren's necklace that hung around his neck, it was to face the Maker and he would find Ren, no matter how long it took.


End file.
